Friday, May 16, 2008

Middle Age - Low Lights and Soft Music

I have preferred the loud and the bright since joining the teenage club. Then I noticed a subtle change. Whenever the chance presents, soft music low lights is the order of the day. But lately the clamor to control my environment is getting a bit more obsessive. The days of loud music and songs are gone. So is working and living with some kind of sound present in the background. Today, listening to some kind of sounds is more directed and intentional. When I am working from home I just want the working lights (if there is insufficient natural light), nothing else. If I need accompanying music it must be soft or baroque. I am changing. I am shifting into new preferences.
My teenage son is different. He is diametrically opposite to me on these two preferences. All lights are switched on when he is home. His recreation has to produce loud sounds from the square boxes. There is gaiety and fun. ??? Am I missing out? No! I have fair share. It’s just that I have changed!
Yes, I have complained and advised. Yes, he has toned down. He is a good teen. He knows what I want. He reads the weather pretty well for a teen. Only at times he forgets and that’s natural. Teens get amnesia now and then and the only antidote is the good old fashion reminders. But remember don’t get too upset and provocative. He learns tolerance, patience, compromise and sharing from those around him. This is life. Here as he watches and experiences, we impart values. Even a child has rights. Rights to receive love and fairness! However, I still get to veto especially when I have a heavy and busy day and coming home with frayed nerves. Use the veto sparingly, like a bank account. Liberal usage will cause the account to be overdrawn and of no value.
People change as their season of life change. These changes could be surfacing due to some psychological and physiological changes. Some say it the mid-life thing! Whatever! Looking at my present season I would like to embrace these new preferences. They enhance the quality of my life. I am producing more cerebral work. Intellectually I am moving a few notches higher and the skill and the ability to pause, reflect and to act greatly increased.
The next question is how to change gracefully and transit successfully without imposing and infringing on the rights of others? Recognizing and respecting the rights of others in our station of life whether it is in the small or large context is the beginning of having the freedom to change gracefully and successfully. This will allow the space and time to savor and observe the moment and the movement of changes in one’s life?
Photo: Pangandaran, Central Java off Yogyakarta, Indonesia.

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